The rapid growth of cosmetic surgery in the early second millennium, which meant that virtually everybody born post 2010 would undergo some form of non essential enhancement procedure, crossed new medical frontiers and regained some of its original notoriety with the ambitious operation carried out on one David Walburga Gelt.
Amidst a veritable storm of media interest (David Gelt was not a man to shrink from the limelight) the patient had, over the course of three pioneering procedures, a state of the art, 5 inch, achromatic astronomic lens mounted in his forehead.
In a preliminary operation lasting more than 16 hours and involving an array of specialist surgeons, the interior surface of the skull was utilised as a multiple conduit photon relay bank. Two subsequent visits to theatre involved the micro-manipulation and cloning of retinal rods and cones and finally, insertion of the lens.
Six months convalescence and multiple minor surgical tweaks later, and the head on David Gelts broad shoulders was no longer simply the repository for his brain; it was a telescope!
The first born to a Catholic captain of industry, Gelt picked up the reigns of the family business (sports marketing) in his early thirties and in a breathless ten year period, beginning 2013, created, first GSBC TV and then, in nothing short of a sporting cultural revolution, propelled soccer from its position of 5th class citizen to number one sport in the USA.
More to the point, a new generation of sports addicts could only access top flight soccer through the medium of pay per view GSBC TV. Naturally, there were any number of additional revenue streams to be exploited as a result of this pre-eminence and Mr Gelt missed no opportunity to do just that.
As a result, and by happy coincidence, the arrival of his half century coincided with the acquisition of his fiftieth billion.
Outspoken, loud, physically imposing, David Gelt was an unstoppable force and unqualified entrepreneurial success. He was also, and this was not something well known at the time, an avid amateur astronomer. The stars and planets fascinated the tycoon and privately he admitted to an increasing interest in all things cosmological.
However, owing to the demands of his business empire, astronomy was not a hobby that could be indulged very easily or for anything but the briefest periods. This was largely down to the, frankly, absurd amount of time spent on business trips and the subsequent impractically of travelling with a cumbersome telescope.
What David Gelt needed was an optical device that was easily accessible and equally portable; a chance conversation with Prof. Lesley Normal (worlds leading ophthalmic surgeon) in the corporate hospitality lounge suspended above the pitch of the Montana Miners (3 times champions of the burgeoning GAPS LEAGUE (Gelt American Professional Soccer league) led to a series of meetings/ examinations that suggested he could have it. 1.5 billion dollars of personal investment and two years later David Gelt stood on the threshold of an entirely new area of cosmetic surgery: hobby enhancement.
As most of you will probably know, the procedure was a complete success and anytime the “seeing” conditions are favourable at night, David Gelt simply removes the now famous ‘cyclops’ patch, closes his eyes and looks into the heavens. The light absorbed by his artificial lens is “folded” repeatedly back and forth across the inside of his cranium to a focal point on the secondary flexi focus lens which in turn provides an image for the retina.
Quite where the pioneering steps of Mr Gelt will ultimately lead is anybody’s guess but for him the sky is definitely not the limit!